


A Cipher Christmas

by Fae_King



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Bill Cipher and Dipper Pines are Parents, Christmas, F/M, Fluff, Gen, I wish Jack was my child, M/M, Married Dipper and Bill, Other, au but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-21 22:19:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13153185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fae_King/pseuds/Fae_King
Summary: Please tell me If I have made any grammar errors and if you would like to see more of this.





	A Cipher Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me If I have made any grammar errors and if you would like to see more of this.

   Dipper was standing on an old wooden ladder, nailing rainbow Christmas lights onto their snow cover home while Bill tightly wound his hands around the bottom making sure his love wouldn’t accidentally tumble. The month had been such a disaster that Dipper couldn’t carve time out to even decorate, huffing, the human glared bitterly down at his demon.  

“So is this what you do every Christmas Eve? Or did you just forget?” The demon cooed teasingly, trying to shake off that horrid look his lover was intently gifting him. “You know I could have-” A long dramatic sigh of frustration was released as Rodrick threw his head back and groaned.

“Oh my god Bill, make yourself useful and make sure Jack is asleep, if not, put the kid to bed.” Bill saluted and before he left he was sure to give a parting gift, a loud smack echoed through the street that was soon accompanied by a gasp and an accusing yet playful look. “I am going to tell Santa that you should be on the naughty list.” Bill laughed maniacally and caught Dipper as he jumped down finally peeling himself from the roof.

   Taking a moment, they both admired the human’s handy work as all the lights shone brightly against the dazzling white snow. “You did a good job Honey Blood.”  The former demon King cooed soothingly into his lover's ear and beamed as he saw the young man blush.

“Bitch, when do I not do a good job?” He said narcissistically, as he fell out the demons embrace smiling widely. “Seriously, something tells me that your demonic heir is wide awake.” Dipper motioned up to the window and Bill caught the fresh little handprint markings.  

“First, you know you could have just said _'thank you,’_ ” Dipper crossed his arms and looked up at the grinning demon with an amused and cocky look. “Secondly, I shall go attend to our troublesome, yet adorable little Pine Cone.” Dipper rolled hs caramel irises and walked over the latter with the intentions of putting it away, he looked back still saw Bill standing there with his stupid grin. Sighing and slightly hunched, the human turned his body and made shooing motions with his gloved hands.

   Receiving the message, Bill rolled his eye and turned to the golden door, Jack wasn’t asleep, the blond sensed it in waves. Chuckling, it wasn’t exactly like his son’s aura was a subtle one. _‘Just like his aunty Shooting Star.’_  Bill thought fondly as he entered the house and headed directly upstairs.  

   Stopping at the handcrafted door, the dream demon shook his head and his face broke out with a small grin. The boy was animatedly talking to his stuffed animals with an excited but hushed voice. Bill wanted to turn and leave, but he was giving direct orders from the Mamma bear to put this little one to sleep. So, he slowly cracked the door open and noticed the boy against the window with his stuffed friends right beside him.

“I spy with my little eye,” Jack jumped, extremely startled at the sound of his father's echoing voice. “A little boy who isn’t in bed.” Huffing, he glanced over his small shoulder and saw his fathering coming to retrieve him and place him in his bed.  

“But daddy! I want to see Santa!” The smaller three-year-old half demon exclaimed dramatically with his pale nimble hands and pleading eyes.

   The demon chuckled, this was a tactic his son used on Dipper, it was extremely good and his love would always fall for it. However, as strong as Jack may have hoped, Bill was immune to his son’s adorable pleading face.

“Pine Cone, you need to sleep before Satan-I mean Santa comes.” Sighing in defeat the toddler crawled back into bed dejectedly. “And plus little one, We can’t have a sleepy demon baby when we go to see Ford and Stan! Trust me, tired demons are never fun!” Bill purred as he lightly tapped his son’s nose tenderly, watching his son’s wildfire forestry irises light up, like Christmas bulbs.

“We are going to see Grunkle Ford and Grunkle Stan?!” Bill nervously chuckled and tried to calm the kid down, the poor child was going to give himself a heart-attack if he jumped and bounced in excitement anymore.

“Yes, Yes, we are going to have dinner there with them remember? But we can’t go, and Santa can't come if a little boy doesn’t go to the dreamscape.” Exhaling deeply the young man slipped underneath his warm comforter and closed his eyes unknowingly, as the elder demon worked his magic. “Good night my little Pine Cone.” Softly pecking the child’s forehead, Bill slipped out of the room silently, flicking the lights off.

   Trotting down the stairs, he let his mind wander briefly, how did he manage to have this perfect little family? Domestic life was never his style, in fact, he based his entire life to avoid it, and yet, here he was playing the role of father and husband. His mind flickered to the time when Jack was first born, he was such a small thing and probably wouldn’t have survived if he was born just a half-century earlier. It, in all honesty, frightened Bill, in his time the child would certainly have passed away and would have left the family to mourn. Yet, two days later the nurse handed him his son and felt his entire world abruptly reconstructive itself, his priorities were no longer world domination but rather this innocent bundle of stardust.  

   Muddled in his own thoughts, Bill didn’t hear the silent footsteps of his lover until he felt a pair of chapped and cool lips lock with his own.

“Thank you for not letting me fall, my Evil Nacho.” His wife cooed wrapping his sleeved arms around his demon’s neck with a small smile while Bill snorted at the nickname. “Jack asleep?”  Resting his slightly tan hands against his lover’s hips, and the demon hummed in affirmative.

“Out like a light.” Bill softly stated petting his human’s hair lovingly, while holding him tightly in his arms. “Which brings me to this,” Bill trailed his hands down to Dipper’s ass. “If we don’t go to bed, Santa won’t come for you tomorrow night.” The brunette giggled at the lewd gesture as a light blush swept across his face.

“Yes, sir.” The human cooed and marched up to their bedroom with Bill not too far behind.

* * *

  Light bled through the curtains landing on the dream demon’s eyelids, growing he felt a weight on his stomach. Casually he dismissed it as the cat, then remembered they didn’t own a cat. Forcing his eye to open and focus he spotted a blur that resembled a small child he knew.

“Jesus Christ! Jack!” His one and only son was sitting on his stomach intently staring at him, while his wife stirred and lightly tapped his lover’s forehead.

“Where is the snooze button? I’d like five more minutes please.” Dipper released in a sleep tone hearing the giggles of madness of the other side of the bed erupt.  Seeing his opportunity, Jack rolled off of Bill and pounced on to his mother, making the drowsy human let out sounds of displeasure and distress.

“Mommy! Daddy! Get up!” Chuckling at the performance of Dipper trying to cling to the dead carcass of sleep while his son tried to smite it out of existence. A brilliant idea came to mind as Bill gathered Dipper and Jack in his arms and held them like teddies.

“Nah, five more minutes would be delightful.” Struggling, Jack thought of ways to escape this imprisonment of love, and an evil and devious plan came to mind. Sticking his tongue out he managed to lick Bill’s forearm.

“Lemme go! Daddy!” Jack shouted accusingly, as his father spat on his finger and pushed into his son’s ear.  

“Eww, Bill!” Dipper chuckled as he pecked both of his boys on the cheek, then slipping from the warmth of the bed. “Come on you two! It is Christmas! Time to open your guy's presents.” The human hummed as the two roughhoused on the bed.

“Daddy, race you down the stairs!” Jack suddenly spewed and the glint in Bill's eye had told everyone he had accepted the challenge and nearly gave Rodrick a heart attack when they made it down.

* * *

“Nooo!” Jack squealed as he ran from his father and dove under the kitchen table, taking refuge amongst the chair legs. “I don’t wanna get dressed!” The child cried as Bill felt his patients thin out like Stan’s hair line.

“Come on Jack, if we don’t hurry, we won’t get to got to Grunkle Stan’s and Ford’s today.” Bill saw a small tuft of hair pop out from in between the chair legs with a sad look.

“I wanna stay in pajamas. Why can’t I stay in them, daddy?” Jack gave the older demon a pitiful look and Bill nearly caved to the demands of the younger male but thought better of it and threatened to ground the young man if he didn’t get dressed that instant. “Hmph, fine.” Jack crawled out from underneath the wooden table and allowed his father to dress him in a cute pair of black slacks, and a darling little shamrock green button-up with a little black tie.

“Oh, my god! He looks so grown up!” Dipper gushed in delight as he snatched the boy and held him in his arms. “ Oh, my baby boy looks so handsome!” The human planted a kiss on the small one’s forehead and laugh airly as Jack quickly wiped the slobber off.

“Mommy!” The boy cried as he sent Dipper an unamused glance and scrambled to be put down.  

“Well, well, well, aren’t you looking fetching as usual.” Bill purred as he ignored Jack rushing out of the house and into the car.

“Oh my god, Bill stop it!” The demon’s human giggled and blushed as he wiggled out of the demon's grip and headed for the door. “Come on we are going to be late.” Bill rolled his eye and followed Rodrick while grabbing the keys from the entry table and turned to lock the door.

“Come on! You are so slow!” The hybrid child hollered out impatiently as he began to jump up and down in excitement. “Come on, come on, come on! Hurry Daddy! Hurry!” Bill huffed in annoyance as he trekked over to the driver seat and unlocked the car, allowing the impatient demon child into the car.

“Okay, Okay, Jesus.” Bill groaned as he slipped behind the wheel and pulled out of the driveway.

  The drive was quiet save for the soft giggles and kicking of tiny legs from the back seat. The demon took a deep breath as the car whisked by the thickets of Pine trees and tried not to lose his calm as his own child repeatedly punted the back of seat. Dipper must have caught on because the darling human turned and told Jack softly to stop while a gentle smile.

   Bill counted his lucky stars as the vehicle rolled into the gravel driveway of the shack and Jack stopped abusing the demon’s lower back in favor for running up to the house and into the arms of a certain redhead.

“Aunty Wendy! Uncle Robbie!” The toddler cried out as he ran into their open warm embrace, enjoying their presence after not seeing them for a complete year.

“Well, Little man, look how big you have gotten since we last saw you! You are growing too fast!” Wendy exclaimed picking the young boy up and gifting him with a warm hug and a kiss on the forehead.

“Yeah, little J, Stop this growing! It is madness I tell you!” Robbie said chuckling as Jack leaned over to give him a great big hug, however, the little demon’s pointed ears perked as he heard a familiar grumbling come from within the house.

“Is that my little scientist I hear?” Ford, was quick to overstep the presents and the wild Mable, despite his old age and knelt down as the young demon sprinted towards the old man. “Oh, I missed you!” The old man smiled brightly as he felt tiny arms wrap around his neck.

“I missed you too Grunkle Ford!” The little boy cried out and took the older man's hand to meet the others while his parents turned to their overly energetic sister and their new sister-in-law.

“Hey, Dip! Long time no see?” Grinning widely at his sister’s voice, Dipper wasn’t hesitant to bear hug his twin leaving Bill and Pacifica to greet each other politely.

* * *

  Time had passed and Bill wouldn’t have noticed if his offspring didn’t complain about being hungry and Ford didn’t complain about his time-worn joints. Hearing this the demon felt no sympathy towards the older male, Bill had explicitly told him  **NOT** to play cops and robbers **BECAUSE**  he would have a terrible backache but of course the man didn’t listen and now, as usual, he was hurt.

“Alright, you sea dogs! Dinner is done!” Stan called out with a large goofy grin as Jack clung to his leg, with hopeful eyes. “Yes, you can have the turkey leg, and if I like your father enough, he can have the other.” Bill threw his hands up in triumph, he never was able to obtain the leg of the turkey before and his offspring might help him. “Or maybe not, maybe I’ll give them both to Jack-a-boy.” Bill retraced his hands and looked at the floor sadly which caused the room to erupt with laughter as Jack ran to his father and began to rub circles on his back.

“Don’t worry Daddy. I got you.” The laughing only increased as the older demon scooped his child and began to kiss him blubbering on how his angle was too pure for this cruel and dark world.

  Once things began to settle down, everyone made their way to the dining room and seated themselves, Pacifica and Mable sat together, as well as Wendy, Robbie, Bill, and Dipper. While Jack joyfully plopped himself smack in the middle of Stan and Ford, causing Bill to cock his brow.

“What, are you too good for us now?” Jack deviously smiled, flashing his sharp canines and placed the cloth napkin in his lap.

“Maybe.” The child crossed his arms. “Maybe not, you never know.” The male Burnett couldn’t help to giggle and rest his head on his beloved demon. The two were so similar at times it was absolutely hilarious.  

“Is this a challenge I hear little boy? Because you know, Daddy always wins when it comes to challenges.” Jack rolled his eyes and stood from his chair with an inhumanly wide grin.

“Oh, yeah old man? I bet I could beat you!” Now Bill stood from the table pointing a spoon at Jack as the young man followed his father’s lead.

“Unguard!” Bill shouted as he straightened his poster, and extended the spoon to his son causing the young one to giggle.

“Unguard Daddy!” Before anything could progress Dipper stopped Bill and Ford held Jack as everyone laughed at their playful antics. Stan found it oddly nice, Bill seemed to be an entirely different person around his son, the demon was far more playful and straight-laced, perhaps there was a method to Dipper’s madness when he married the man.  

* * *

  The tradition of saying prayer was officially banned once Bill and Jack came into the family picture, no one knew the full extent of damage it could do to either one. Bill claimed he was fine but admitted that he wouldn’t know how it would affect Jack seeing that he was a first of his kind. So the family refrained, not that they minded, for the most part, everyone was a secular person and didn’t care about religion or it’s seemingly absurd practices.Dinner was peaceful as everyone happily chattered with each other as they ate, Ford conversed with Bill and Dipper, which oddly was becoming a normal occurrence amongst the three of them, while the rest of the family delve into trivial conversations. Jack looked around and found a container of small rocks that he vaguely remembered tasted good, so, naturally, he took some and sprinkled a healthy dosage onto his turkey leg.

“Hey, kid, I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Bill said uneasily as his son dumped unnecessary amounts of salt on his turkey leg.

“Don’t worry daddy, I did this once with Grunkle Stan!” Said man began to sweat nervously when he felt all eyes rest on him with upset glares. “Oh, sorry I forgot, I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone.” The boy looked up apologetically as Stan roughly nodded.

“It was an accident! I forgot, you know because I’m, I don’t know, old!” At this point, Pacifica got up and quickly made her way to the child, though her attempt was in vain. Jack took a fairly large bite, and everyone in the room squirmed under the crunching sounds, the diverse group was waiting for a white face, and shaking hands, such as Bill did when he ate salt...But nothing happened, in fact, the adorable troublemaker took another large bite. Slightly disturbed, Dipper and Bill both went back to eating their meals, however, the demon did squirm in his seat every time he heard a crunch from his son.

* * *

  As the night wound down to an end, everyone exchanged their goodbyes and shared warm embraces as they all silently whispered death threats into the old man’s ear before they left. The only ones to still remain were the Cipher family with a dozing child.

“Merry Christmas you guys,” Ford said as he hugged the demon and Dipper. “I will see you New Years?” The duo rolled their eyes and nodded with a bright smile as Dipper tenderly rubbed circles on the child back, trying to coax the little one asleep.

“Of course, Jack loves you two, I swear he jumps up and down every time we mention your house. It causes Bill to have an arrhythmia and panic sweats every time.” The demon’s human said with a side of giggles and snorts as he watched Bill’s posture falter with a groan of frustration.

“Well, that’s one way to keep him on his toes right?” Stan said with a gruff laugh, still not entirely accustomed to the dream demon’s presence. “Anywho, it is late and you should go, I need to do something illegal and drunks are going to be stumbling home around this hour.” Glancing briefly at the clock Dipper gawked at the time and quickly agreed feeling his own need for sleep to take over.

“Yeah, Bill has me on a strict sleeping schedule and throws a fit when we miss it.” The other in question nodded his head as the family changed last hugs and farewells, much to his surprise he also was hugged by the grump oddly men as they ushered them out.

“Drive safely! Text me when you get home please!” Ford hollered out as they shuffled to their form of transportation.

“We will!” Dipper called back as he waited for Bill to unlock the car of its defenses. Once that matter was successfully taken care of, Dipper slipped his child into the seat and buckled the child in while Bill opened his husband's door for him.

“Thank you, darling.” Bill nodded and shut the door after the human slipped, happily jogging back to the driver’s side and start the ignition.

“Finally, we can go home.” The demon cried in relief, as he drove down the twisting highway of Gravity Falls. “I am so tired!” Bill spoke softly as he peered at his son through the rearview mirror.  

“I am tired too,” The human spoke, matching his voice to his husbands, as he held his lover's hand.

   Arriving to their humble domain, Bill noticed that both of passenger were dead asleep and would have to be carried in and put to reset. Sighing a bit, he forced the car into park and got out to unlock the door so he wouldn’t have future issues with trying to get his babies in their beds.

   Dipper was the first soul he scooped into his arms as he tried not to wake the human up, then he went to his son and used his magic to stack the child onto his sleeping mother. Unfortunately, this caused the little one to stir and ultimately wake up, Jack blinked once then move to rub his eyes.

“Can I sleep with you and mommy tonight Daddy?” A wide smile broke out on Bill’s day-worn face,  as he nodded, who on this earth could say no to that adorable face?

“Of course, I need to carry Mommy though, so you go ahead and get in your Pj’s alright my little Pine Cone?” The small child nodded and disappeared into the house leave Bill to creep in after, trying not to wake his spouse.

  The demon’s attempt was successful as he laid the raccoon-eyed human into their shared King sized bed, just in time for small feet to patter down the hall and into his room.

“Be quiet and crawl in next to Mommy.” Jack nodded and slipped underneath the golden comforters and curl against his mother’s rising and falling chest, leaving Bill to change into a pair of sweats and a coffee-stained white shirt and crawl in after them.

“Merry Christmas Pine Cone.” Bill cooed softly, rubbing his son’s back to lure him into the second stage of sleep as his ears detected a faint whisper of ' _Merry Christmas Daddy’_ before he as well drifted away into the mindscape.     

 


End file.
